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We have a plan.

April 30, 2018

Jonathan and I met with Dr. Z this morning, and we decided to do chemo.

We talked about the targeted therapy, and while it is a good option, it wouldn’t be his first choice for me. He told me that if his wife were the one sitting in my chair, he would recommend she do chemo. That this is the kind of thing where you’re probably going to get one shot, and you want to make it your best one.

I told him that I wanted to do whatever was going to give me the best chance of getting rid of cancer. That I had made peace with chemo. I think he was relieved to hear that. It seemed that he had presented the targeted therapy as an option if I was unwilling to do chemo since that’s the attitude I had when I first met him. The other drug may be a good option for after I’ve finished chemo though.

We spent the rest of the appointment talking about what it’s actually going to be like. I have to get the port put in this week and get an EKG. My first treatment will be next Monday 5/7, and if all goes well, I’ll have another one on 5/21. We are going to California after school gets out, and I appreciate that 1. he says it’s important for us to still go, and 2. he wants me to have the treatment early enough where it doesn’t ruin our trip. I’ll be doing the AC-T regimen with 4 doses of AC and 4 of T. At about one every two weeks, this will last through almost the end of August.

I love to have a plan, so this is good for me. The way I imagined it today, one side of my yard is where we want to be. Cancer free. The grass is green and beautiful. The ground is solid. But between me and that good place is a whole lot of garbage. Mud. Thorns. Maybe fire or coals. Hard stuff. And the only way I’m going to get to the good place is by taking that first step into the mud. I can’t get there if I never start walking.

The pharmacists came in and talked us through all the drugs, and then the drugs for the drugs… Ugh. The side effects. Ugh. Part of me says, maybe it won’t be that bad. We are making plans for ways to mitigate the side effects. Ways to support my body. Maybe I’ll get off easy. Then the other part of me knows if it is even half as bad as they say, it’s going to be a rough summer.

But many people have done this and continue to do it every day. My goal is to be another one of those women that tells you about that time 25 years ago when they had breast cancer and had to do all the things and it sucked, but look at me now.

There are a ton of other places I’d rather be than at the doctor’s office, but there’s no one else I’d rather be with than this man.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Brenda Brooks permalink
    May 1, 2018 21:59

    Sweet Grace, reading this just brought tears to my eyes. Although I don’t often comment on FB posts I certainly try to keep up. This is such a beautiful picture of you and Jonathan. No one would ever know what y’all are being faced with without you sharing your story. I’ll continue to pray for your total healing, and yes also to hear in 25 years of the beautiful life you and Jonathan and your 3 girls have lived!

    Sounds like everything is planned out. Enjoy your summer!

    Hugs to all of you!

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