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I’m not saying your baby stinks, but…

June 21, 2011

Does your baby suffer from bad body odor? Is he self-conscious in social situations, afraid his smell will bother others? Is your baby’s B.O. preventing her from reaching her full baby potential? Does the smell of baby make you want to spit up? If so, there is hope for both of you.

The other day, we went to the Metro. While waiting in the checkout line, I was browsing the display stand making sure there wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without. This stand happened to be selling Johnson & Johnson baby products.



In case you can’t read it, it’s baby cologne.

This led to the following conversation:

Grace: “Baby cologne? WTF, mate? I didn’t know babies needed cologne.”
Jonathan: “Yeah, I thought babies already had some special smell.”
Grace: “They do, my dear. They do.”

Instead of Eau de Baby, here are the delightful flavors you can choose from:

Morning Dew – Be warned, it’s caffeinated and your child’s first words may be “Do the Dew!”
Summer Swing – Is that a rope swing, tire swing, wooden swing, or plastic swing? A baby swing with cracker crumbs and old spit-up in it?
Powder Mist – Just in case there aren’t enough powder scented baby products out there already.
Spring Bouquet – Comes with Claritin for those of you with allergies.
Tropical Burst – Is that a burst of mosquito repellent or the burst that happens when you slap a mosquito that’s been sucking your blood?

I know Asian and Western tastes vary greatly when it comes to flavors and scents, but I was always under the impression that Westerners were the ones with the tendency to overdo the body scents. I even read in “The Lotus Eaters” about ambushes being sabotaged because the Vietnamese could smell the soap the American soldiers used to bathe. (They started covering themselves in fish sauce before going on missions.) When applying perfume, I have always tried to respect the fact, or what I assumed to be fact, that Asians prefer less scents.

In the land of fish sauce and durian, how can anyone not like the way babies smell? Can someone please explain why there is a market for baby cologne? Is this sold in Western countries?

7 Comments leave one →
  1. ashley permalink
    June 21, 2011 12:35

    YES! You can find it anywhere other baby products are sold. It comes in a blue bottle and looks like they market it for baby boys. I’ve never seen the other scents though. I love that baby smell and couldnt imagine covering it up!

    • June 22, 2011 01:40

      It is such a strange concept and even stranger to think it’s aimed at baby boys. I agree with you, baby smell is so nice. Maybe it’s an excuse to not bathe your baby as much 😦

  2. Tanya permalink
    June 21, 2011 17:57

    I believe the tropical burst description was my favorite of the colognes 🙂 It is interesting to think that Johnson & Johnson has cologne for babies when their baby wash and baby shampoos do not really have any scent to them!

  3. June 21, 2011 23:34

    I saw these in the metro the other day and thought:

    Johnson and and Johnson have been flavouring babies for generations now anyway. Their baby oil and baby powder have a distinct scents and it’s only very recently (in New Zealand at least) that every single baby isn’t completely smothered in both. They had really slick marketing campaigns in NZ in the past that involved sponsoring the (free) maternity and early childcare nursing service that visited people’s homes and training the nurses in how to use their products, and then giving the products to new mothers as a gift at birth.

    Sometimes I wonder how much of that baby smell is Actual Baby and how much of it is Johnson’s baby powder.

    • June 22, 2011 16:53

      You’re right. Just because their other products aren’t specifically designed for flavoring babies doesn’t mean they don’t. I don’t like the smell of baby powder, but I have always loved the way a baby’s head smells after you use their tearless shampoo… I guess I’ve fallen for the same thing – just using a less direct tactic.

  4. Mary Holby permalink
    June 22, 2011 12:39

    I know one thing, my new born babies’ breaths smelled like flowers.

    • June 22, 2011 16:50

      I hope you aren’t referring to those flowers that Michal and I picked on the side of the road last month… Or pear blossoms 🙂

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