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These are the days.

August 16, 2010

Tonight I lie in bed and listen to the squeal of metal on metal as a train passes. I just bought tickets for the first leg of our United States exodus and the reality of Vietnam is setting in. I wonder what the nighttime sounds will be like in one month.

Today in church I knew all the songs. I like this because then I can really sing along. I especially like “Come Thou Fount.” The harmony is easy and I love the thought of my heart being bound by God’s mercy. Mercy is a wonderful chain.

As I sang I realized that I didn’t have to worry about my voice cracking. I could push as hard as I could and it would go. My range is still the same, but there is so much more to my voice.

It reminded me of what a momentous year this has been. Extreme and wonderful voice-altering surgery in January (shortly following my 29th birthday.) A trip to Thailand in March where I rode an elephant and snorkeled for the first time. In April, a tumultuous, short-lived, and productive break from Jonathan was followed by thoughts of moving to Vietnam. These thoughts quickly became a reality which fast forwarded our desire to be married. July made us legal. August made us official. We had the best wedding I could have ever hoped for.

Now it’s August. I’m a married woman. I’m living in Jonathan’s apartment surrounded by all of our (I’m getting used to things being ours now) earthly possessions. It’s driving me insane, but thankfully the mess is temporary (I hope the insanity is too). Jonathan is gone for what I’m hoping will be the last stretch of days/nights we’ll spend apart for a long while.

Lately, I often feel on the verge of tears. I have never been happier than I am now. Somehow though, happy tears feel the same coming out as sad tears do. The happiness of going to Vietnam with my best friend and husband can’t exist without the sadness of leaving my family and friends. I have a friend here who is sick, and I don’t know if I’ll see him when I come back.

There is no adventure without some pain.

All is now quiet outside. My insides are trying to follow suit. Even good changes take getting used to.

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