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I need a fire extinguisher for my sunburn, but I can’t get to it.

September 25, 2008

If you were to look in the dictionary for responsible things to do I have an idea of what you might find. Possibly a picture of me, lying on the beach in the full sun, with a bottle of sunscreen in my bag next to me. Oh yeah, the sunscreen (that I hauled all the way from Georgia) is unused and I am sunburned. I even had someone offer me sunscreen and I turned it down. Some things I just never learn…

That was yesterday. I was in Ft. Walton enjoying one of the most perfect beach days I’ve seen in a long time. One reason I got burned is because I was determined to enjoy the beach as much as possible, since the rest of this trip has been pure torture. I’m exhausted and people are stupid. I had to get up at 3:30 this morning and did 4 flights.

The other day a lady got on the plane. She looked a little granola-ish. Hippy skirt. Leggings, Chunky black boots. Short hair. No make up. She also had her running shoes tied onto the strap of her computer bag. Then she turned around to take her accordian off her back. Sounds like a punch line doesn’t it? I commented on what a strange carry on it was. She said she plays in her friends’ band sometimes. Interesting. This band is going to Palestine next month to play in a circus. Even more interesting. She is on her way home from visiting her partner in New Haven, CT (totally thought she was a lesbian). He also plays the accordian (guess not). I commented what an bizarre coincidence it was that they both played the accordian (not exactly the guitar or drums). She thought the fact that they shared the same birthday was more of a coincidence (my vote is still on the accordian playing coincidence). I was amused. She makes me feel boring somehow. I want to know how the circus is.

I have a question. Have I been a flight attendant for so long that I think it’s bizarre and stupid to place personal belongings on life saving equipment? If I had a dollar for every time I took someone’s bag out of the fire extinguisher compartment, I’d be rich. I want to ask them where their brain is. Instead I just take the bag, identify the idiot, slam it into another bin, and give them a death glare. I hope that their hair catches on fire and I can’t get to the fire extinguisher because they’re stupid bag is on top of it.

I also had a man spill his water directly into his crotch. I’m not sure if he actually spilled it or if he peed himself and claimed he spilled it. And I laughed at him. Is that wrong?

So my trip hasn’t been entirely terrible. I’m just tired and sunburned. But I get to go to sleep in a nice bed in a nice hotel, and I’ll be home this time tomorrow.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2008 02:28

    Obviously you just need the right man (or woman) to apply that sunscreen for you. Well, make that Aloe Vera gel now. You’ve got my number!

  2. September 26, 2008 01:15

    ooh ooh pick me! I’ll wear a fireman outfit!(and what do you have against granola?)

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