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Never too old for fun

September 14, 2008

I just got home from the amphitheater. Trisha Yearwood performed the last two nights. I’m not much of a country music fan, but she is talented and put on two good shows. Her self professed affinity for sad songs, songs that allow you to wallow in your misery, reminded me why I can’t bear to listen to country music very long. I could handle it tonight while I was working, distracted, and generally happy, but God forbid I listened to that stuff when I was already a little down in the dumps. It’d be game over.

This whole summer of concerts has been really enjoyable. It’s really hard work, but it’s nice being outdoors (even when it rains, or is so hot my hair is soaked in sweat), wearing shorts and polos, listening to music, and serving people who are relaxed and having a good time. One of the things I really enjoy about these concerts is the general age group. They’re young enough to be fun, and old enough to be able to tip well. The music may be a little before my time, but not so much that I don’t know some of it. I have been seeing and serving some of the same people all summer, and it’s nice when they know my name and say hello even when I’m not waiting on them.

These concerts are also great for people watching. A few weeks ago I saw two couples come in and they all had at least one piece of camo clothing on. Some people look like they just rolled out of bed and others look like they just rolled out of Talbots. I’ve seen a grand variety of fake breasts and huge diamonds (or is it huge breasts and fake diamonds?? – or both). We are in Peachtree City after all. My best guess is that when these ladies’ husbands make their first big bucks these are their first two purchases. But what do I know? Whatever they look like, though, they’re a lot of fun.

Last night I was standing at the bar where I usually help out, minding my own business, when I was given the grand tour of one of our customer’s tattoos. They started with the four leaf clover on her back, went to the design around her belly button, down to the other design on her hip, and was finished off by her foot being (impressively) placed on the bar so I could see the one on her ankle. She then informed me that the belly button is the best place for a $7,000 diamond when you get divorced. Evidently selling it is a bad idea because you’ll never get what it’s worth. Plus, if you remarry and he’s a poor man, you can still have a nice ring.

Somehow this conversation led to a discussion about third nipples. I honestly can’t remember the connection. One of the ladies claimed she had one. After being examined by all we decided it was only a mole on her side. (For those of you who watch Friends, the mole ruling was too late to prevent her from being called Chandler the rest of the time.) The conversation then segued into one between her and her two companions as to whether her breasts were real (they were). The equally endowed friend didn’t understand why hers looked so much bigger. Out came the bras and the explanation that a full support, minimizing bra might be the problem. We all recommended Vic’s Secret for all her uplifting needs.

This entire time, friend number 3 is denying being friend number 3 and claiming to be innocent bystander number 1. They evidently went to third grade together. Not sure how long ago it was, but Ms. $7k Diamond has grandbabies on the way. There was so much more to the conversation but these were some of the highlights.

The moral of this story for me was that no matter what my age, or where I may be in life, if I surround myself with fun people things always have a chance of being ridiculous and entertaining. I have to get old, but things don’t have to get boring.

On that note, I’m being old and boring tonight and going to sleep. It’s been a long week and I’m looking forward to a more relaxing coming week.

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 14, 2008 22:17

    You could just hang out with those guys who profess to make 10K a month sitting on reserves, then these diamonds can all be yours for the low low price of your dignity and a falsified pregnancy test!It’s so easy a cave-woman could do it!

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