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Oh no he didn’t!

September 7, 2008

I’m going to take this opportunity to share some of the things that have been said to me in the last few days.

I had a passenger on the way to Gulfport Thursday morning. He was sitting in 3C (left aisle seat). He looked to be in his late 40s. He had a beard that was almost completely gray. He looked European and had a man bag. He didn’t want anything to drink or eat. He never spoke to me. He never smiled at me. He looked at me a lot, but I’m sitting in the front of the plane which is directly in most people’s line of sight. When he got off the plane he handed me the stub of his boarding pass. There was a note on the back that said “If you could be different and original and call me anytime.” Followed by a home and a cell number, and then “I have so much to tell you. Good luck.” I’m still confused. That sentence doesn’t make sense. An inserted comma might help, but it’s still a stretch. And I feel a little offended that he’s telling me I should be different and original. I did not call him to find out what he had to tell me.

Later that day I was flying back from Syracuse. I was going through the cabin with a basket of snacks. I got to an old man (white hair) and asked him what he wanted. He asked what the choices were. I told him peanuts, crackers, or cookies. He said he liked the other choices better. Not understanding what he meant, I asked what other choices. His response was “Coffee, tea, or me.” He really caught me off guard. I told him that those were not the choices on that plane.

While this is going on in the back, I have a man sitting in 1C right in front of me who seems to be going through a midlife crisis. He is recently divorced. He is non-revving and decided to spend the night in Atlanta instead of continuing on to his destination. He kept asking me what I was doing after work and if I went out anywhere could he meet up with me. I know I’m practically an old maid, but do these men really think that I’m so desperate I’d fall for a man twice my age? And especially one with terrible pick up lines.

Later that night I met up with some of the girls and we went to Twisted Taco. Some guy started talking to me and in the course of conversation he told me he was a Delta pilot. He’s in his first year and is flying the 767 doing international stuff. He said it had been a few weeks since they called him for a trip, but he didn’t care cause he was getting paid $10k a month to sit around! I was just thinking, honey, that lie might work on someone who isn’t in your industry and doesn’t know what you get paid, but not me. He would also look me in the eyes every once in a while and say something like “wow”. I know I’m not the ugliest thing around, but I also know I’m not going to make people speechless with my beauty. It was all I could do not to laugh in his face and then throw up in my mouth. I told him he was living up to the stereotype of a pilot and he was quick to assure me that he’s only a part time pilot. The rest of the time he’s in the Air Force. Once again, if you’re in the airline industry, you know that the cockiest pilots are the ex-military ones. Double whammy.

I don’t understand how these men come up with this stuff. I also don’t understand who it would actually work on. I need to meet someone who isn’t old enough to be my father, and doesn’t use terrible lines and ridiculous flattery on me. If these are my options then I guess it’s going to be a long life of single-ness ahead of me.

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 12, 2008 01:28

    c’mon… you should flirt back with the sleezy types like me! being shot down is much more awesome than sarcastic death glares!

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