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live from Chicago

August 4, 2007

I’m not sure how this is working but I managed to get online even though it said it was going to charge me $9.99… So far so good.

I finally have a trip where I don’t have to duty in at 515 every morning. It’s been nice. The part that hasn’t been nice is that I’ve been feeling like my job has become my life. More than once lately I’ve found myself wishing I had a job where I was at home every night so when my friends and family want to spend time with me I can do it. I feel like I’m missing out on so many important things. I’ve already been feeling detached and now I’m wondering if it’s my fault. Maybe I’ve become a bad/unavailable friend and not realized it. I’ve been upset at times because people that I thought I was close to don’t seem to act like I am, but maybe I’m never around when they need me… I have no intentions of quitting my job. I’m just looking forward to when I have a more regular schedule. The last few weeks have been crazy. I’ve only had two out of the last fifteen days off, which is never good for my sanity. Also, the whole moving thing has taken up a lot of physical and emotional energy.

Then on the other hand, because of my job I get to see other friends of mine more than I would without. I got to see Amy and Shane Thursday night and Friday morning, which was really fun. I don’t know… I think I just need a break. I’ve had to turn down a lot of invitations to get together lately and it’s really bothering me. I’m afraid that if I say no too many times people will stop asking. If I’m not around enough people will adjust and no longer notice I’m not around. It’s not like I haven’t been doing this for the past 2 years, but still…

I’m sitting here in my hotel in Chicago. Problem is, we’re actually pretty far out in the suburbs so there isn’t anything to do around here. Last night when we flew in it was really pretty though. I could see the skyline along the lake and golden grid of streets. It’s a huge city. The passengers we’ve had these past 2 days have been unbelievably high maintenance. Some have been fun. Some have been really annoying.. It’s all good.

And I’m going to see Joy tonight, which always makes me happy.

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