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she said it’s cold outside and hands me my raincoat

July 10, 2007

I’m very pleased to be writing this from my very own apartment. I only have 20 more days to call it that, but the huge cockroach that I killed in here last night helped me be less sad about that.

I think I need about a month off from work. The trip this weekend was a little, actually a lot disappointing. My 33 hours at Ft. Walton Beach didn’t even come close to happening. I think that God is trying to teach me something through disappointment. I’m not sure what though. I don’t deal with it very well. It’s hard for me to know what to do because the guy I was flying with kept being all optimistic about things working out, but I can’t do that because the more I looked forward to something working out, the more upset I was when it didn’t. I don’t want to become cynical or a pessimist, but I can’t handle disappointment.

We did finally make it to Key West for a short night there. It was really nice to walk on the beach and eat shrimp. I look forward to going back there every Monday this month, but at the same time, I don’t want to look forward to it too much cause then if it doesn’t happen I’ll be really disappointed.

I did get to see my family on Sunday cause we got stuck in Atlanta for 5 hours. That was a definite plus.

I just ate some food that was in the frig. I’m not sure where i came from, and now I’m not sure if eating it was such a good idea.

I have so many things going on in my head right now. So many decisions to make. So many things that I don’t know what to do with. I look forward to when things settle down again.

It’s starting to storm outside which makes me kind of happy. I like the sound of rain.

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