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same ol’ same ol’

May 16, 2006

In a way I don’t feel like writing because I get tired of what I have to say. I pretty much have one thing on my mind constantly so it’s hard to write about much else. One of these days I’ll write about our trip. It was amazing. It’s over. I’m sad about the trip being over but more sad about other things that are over. I still wish there was that wild card that I could play to make the deal that can’t be made otherwise.

Davefm’s radio free lunch today is songs that give advice. Very fun.
I’m trying to bring some sort of order to my apartment. It’s taking too long. I started going through stuff this morning and had to stop cause it made me too sad. U2 says I’ve got to get myself together. They’re right.

Yesterday when I went to work so hating everything I ended up flying with two of the most cheerful pilots ever. It was really good for me cause they made me feel more cheerful. It’s a good thing they weren’t the ASA hating complaining type that would’ve just fed the bad feelings I had at the time. I finally got to sleep really late today. I needed it, though I think I had some weird dreams. I’ve got to do a nap tonight but it’s going to be a really easy one. We have 9:13 on the ground which means I can still get a good night’s rest. I need to go to Walmart and run other errands but I’ve been putting it off as much as possible. That would mean I have to get decent looking.

Some days I have the energy to talk myself out of funks that I’m in but lately not so much. I have been riding the pendulum from hopeful to hopeless and back again over the last while. I’m getting dizzy from all the swinging. I gained weight on vacation and now I weigh more than I’ve ever weighed in my life. Good times. The only good thing is it’s tan :-D. Once I go back to my normal eating habits hopefully I’ll drop a little of that. I need to exercise too.

I need to put my hope back where it belongs. Not feeling too deserving of anything good from Him lately though. We never really are though. Human feelings are silly. Guess I need to go get things done.

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