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I should be sleeping

April 4, 2006

But I’m not. Instead I’m lying here in bed thinking of things I would rather not think about. I’m feeling kind of lonely. That’s what happens when you get used to being around people all the time. I wish I felt better cause then I could’ve done something with my day besides nap (probably why I can’t sleep now). The day started off with such promise. I got up and took all three loads of my laundry down to the place where the laundry is done here so I could dry them all at the same time (our washer is broken). In the meantime I paid some bills and had a depressing conversation with my credit card company. That’s when I started to guess that my day wasn’t going to be so hot after all. They made me cry I was so frustrated. Yeah, I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have the things in the first place, but just because something is your fault doesn’t make it hurt any less… Which brings me to the next reason my day wasn’t fun. It’s easy to say what you should and shouldn’t have done a few months down the road. I’m glad for what has happened and what I’ve learned and experienced but it’s hard because the result, that I knew would happen months ago, is now happening. And it makes me really sad. I know I’m being vague but this is myspace. I do have a little self respect. The moral of the story is today was not one of my favorite days ever. My throat still hurts. My ears still hurt. I still feel like coughing all the time but it hurts when I do. And I’m still sad. I was much better for a while but I think it’s one of those ‘when it rains it pours’ things. The little things that you can deal with on a normal day can really get you down on a not so great day. Bah humbug. I want to go to sleep and not wake up for a long time. Then I would be well hopefully. I need to get motivated to exercise. I was going to volleyball practice but it was the wrong night. I was going to go for a walk/run but everything just kind of aches. Not like full-on flu ache but bad enough to make you just want to go home and do nothing. It sucks cause I feel like I either work ALL the time, or I sit at home and doing nothing ALL the time. I can’t wait to have a regular schedule. I will be the happiest girl ever. If you pray I appreciate your prayers.

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